Between the hot weather and my way of handling a BOOOOORING day…I made the decision to get rid of extra baggage….like hair I don’t need.
I now resemble a 62 year old with severe dementia, that got her hands on a pair of scissors and tried to “make a statement”..The statement??…”I AM BORED , I AM HOT…AND.. I am a licensed beautician”… Three very dangerous combinations, obviously. Hey, now I can wash my face AND comb my hair with one swipe of the washcloth!!! Also, this “do” is very “camper friendly”, if I were IN my camper.
This morning we were lazing in bed and heard the drone of a plane and it sounded like it was flying pretty close to our house…Den peeked out and saw a crop duster doing his thing, which took him almost directly overhead. 
Reminiscent of RV’ing, I jumped out of bed , ran downstairs and grabbed the camera. Yet again, it seems I am standing outside and taking pictures in my jammies…The difference here is that our neighbors are quite used to seeing me in various stages of embarrassing apparel.
This heat is really becoming a royal pain in the derriere. (Speaking of that, did you see Jonathan's picture of the day? Nice glutes Nellie!!
Today I had a dentist appointment to get a filling…WHAT?? I haven’t had a cavity in years…! I was raised with Ipana toothpaste, after all!! “Brusha, brusha, brusha, new Ipana toothpaste”…..(If you remember that, then you are definitely part of the boomer generation.) I HATE the dentist…nothing personal. Why would anyone WANT to be a dentist?…To stick your hands in someone else's mouth and root around while they are breathing into your face with questionable breathe?..And they PAY to get that degree!!!
I reluctantly went. By the time they swabbed on the new and tasty (NOT!)coconut/pineapple numbing crap, I was already panicking. Then the dentist came in. He looked like he was no more than 12 years old, and he had a needle in his hand.. Why, oh why did I let them talk me into this appointment…? Surprisingly, all this numbing actually worked fine..now if they could just find a way to get rid of the drilling noises…WHIRRRRRR...ZZZZIIIIIIING…..WHEEEEEEEE….Drilling for oil?? Next came “filling the hole”..I felt like the 7 dwarfs were loading things in and out of my molar…Finally the “buffing and polishing”. This felt like a jack hammer inside my mouth...and then the finale… “bite down”…Stick you finger in there one more time and I WILL! When they finally sat me back up I asked “Dosh thish numbnesh go way efentshually?” drool,, drool…Oh boy, I ought to make a great impression if this stuff isn’t gone by the City Council Meeting tonight. “ Has she got a flask in her purse?? and why is there drool coming from the corner of her mouth?”
After my dental excavation, and after taking another long look in the mirror at my very SHORT, DARK hair, I decided I needed a slight makeover…I got out my frosting kit (no, not the one for cakes) , put on my very stylish frosting cap..and proceeded to highlight my hair for tonight’s performance….
…That’s all for now..I will let you know how my debut at the Sandwich City Council Chambers turns out….Who knows..I might just knock ‘em dead… (Either that or they’ll throw my sorry (but very stylish) ass out!)
Your killing me laughing it's always funnier when it happens to someone else..
ReplyDeleteNow go to the city council and knock there socks off or what ever they wear.
Jeez mom! All you need is an Easter basket and some colorful eggs, and you could pass for the Easter bunny in your before pic! Love your sassy new do. The only time I got mine cut short, the lady made me look like carol Brady in the 70s. No lie. I went to another place the next day to get the long tail cut off. Lucky you that you can cut your own! I'm scared I'm gonna end up going to a salon in the boonies called the curl up and dye. Got my knees shaking. Guess what I did today? Gave myself a fake tattoo and ate a whole box of m&ms. See we both act out when we are bored. Good luck tonight! Toot toot (honking horns in the background)
ReplyDeleteYep, Easter Bunny nails it alright. When you waltz into that council meeting tonight they will think they are under attack by a bored, hot mama, licensed mortician Iroquois bunny alright. Knock em out....pick em up, & knock em out again!!
ReplyDeleteI like that new sassy do!! Now go into that city council meeting and get sassy with them. Good luck tonight!!
ReplyDeleteMike & Gerri (happytrails)
http://freedom2roll.blogspot.com
Can't wait to hear about the City Council meeting!! That's quite the rig on your head for whatever it was you were doing to it! Looks like one of those aluminum hats to ward off space aliens.
ReplyDelete