Here are just a few things I have trouble doing, now that I have my blue Herman Munster boot:
-----Shaving my legs in the shower while balancing on one foot without sucking water up my nose.
-----Getting a true reading on the bathroom scale on one leg…Do I now weigh half as much?
-----Keeping my fountain up and running…It is now a lakefront resort for mosquitos.
-----Getting to our mailbox ahead of Dennis to retrieve my secret online purchase. A brand new Ronnie Dunn T-Shirt.
-----Sneaking out to the refrigerator for a snack undetected..This damn walker needs a grease job and camouflage netting.
-----Chasing the squirrels out of my bird feeders without falling over the deck railing or into a potted plant…
-----Watering the plants on our porch..By the time I get all the way out there the watering can is empty.
-----Going to the Goodwill Store…McGuyver does not have the “bargain addiction” gene that I do…and he finds nothing “good” about it and “will” not drive me…(no sense of adventure, that one.)
-----Garage Sale hunting is also not happening just now. McGuyver just cannot understand what a great deal those fabulous pink and purple striped “happy pants “are for only 50 cents.!!!
-----Vacuuming while sitting down without sucking up my socks and the curtains in one foul swoop.
-----Reaching my bottle of Rum on the top shelf of my cupboard. Especially when it has been pushed all the way to the back…(But I did find that a long handled spatula has more than one use…and managed to remedy that emergency.)
-----And…., last, but NOT least important..Balancing a glass of wine and one hand and moving my walker forward with the other…without ending up licking my wine off the kitchen floor.
So, as it turns out, I have gotten pretty good at adapting to some of my “no can do’s”…others…not so much. Yesterday, as I was pondering “happy hour” (and had just found great difficulty getting to my Rum, as I have stated), I then discovered that my Coke supply in our kitchen refrigerator had run out. WHOA!!! And the only other supply I had was in the basement refrigerator..YIKES! AND….McGuyver was NOT home to do my bidding! (It’s very hard to find a good cabana boy nowadays) …JUST GREAT!…Not being one to throw in the towel, I got in my rolling computer chair and rolled over to the basement door. I flopped my fanny on the floor at the top of the basement stairs, put it in drive, and down I went. My real dilemma began at the bottom..I finally managed to hop the 10 ft to the refrigerator, hanging onto the freezer for “ lift off”, and making one last leap, I desperately grabbed the refrigerator door handle like it was a lifeline to a mountain climber.
OK, so far so good..I opened the door and……hmmm. Just how many pops can I manage? AND will my hopping with them in tow shake them up to semi-explosive levels??? Well, I had made it this far..let’s do this thing! (If only someone had this on video.) I actually hopped my way back to the bottom basement step with my booty in hand , turned around, plopped my behind down and shinnied back up the steps, putting the Cokes on the step just ahead of me…”Where there’s a will there’s a way!”…AND..the Coke can only had a slight eruption of pop on the counter when I popped the top….OK, APPLAUSE SIGN IS LIT NOW!
THIS IS WHERE I REALLY WANT TO BE….
THESE CAMPING CHAIRS ARE CALLING OUT TO ME…
1. There is a reason the rum bottle is in the back of the cabnet and the coke is in the basement.
ReplyDelete2. The squirrels,how can you hate a face like that?
3. The goodwill store and garge sales boring...
4. Have a good weekend
If you have a tortoise like that, and the valley birds in your backyard, you've had too much rum and coke! :)
ReplyDeleteBirds are from the Rio Grande...Tortoise is from The Tortoise House in St Charles IL...and yes, he is real. Too much Rum and Coke just makes me sleepy.
ReplyDeleteglad you are able to adapt!..enjoy the rum and cokes!!..Cheers my blogging buddy!!
ReplyDeleteI hope you didn't snag your pants with all that butt-bumping up and down the stairs! You're right...too bad no one caught it on video...
ReplyDeleteLooks like you are getting what you need and exercise too. Wonder who put that rum all the way in the back. Be safe out there. Sam & Donna..
ReplyDeleteWow! What a funny post! I can truly visualize the whole thing! Glad you got your cokes!!
ReplyDeleteGreat list! I can really sympathize with you as I remember some of that stuff from having a full cast on my right leg after I broke it playing hockey. It was a brutal time. You seem to be adapting well and getting the important stuff done (i.e. rum and cokes)!
ReplyDeleteI understand your foot dilemma. Had both feet operated on years ago because of bone spurs (not at the same time) & remember having to come up with clever new ways of getting around & doing things for a few weeks. I cut the end out of a large juice can once, put my foot inside & wrapped it all up in a big old sock & towel so I could go outside & shovel snow. I've done the bum bumping on steps before as well. Now, isn't that one fun eh:))
ReplyDelete