TWO WEEKS AND HALF A BOTTLE OF IBUPROFEN LATER…..AN ANSWER!

 

  The rain has stopped long enough here for the rabbit population to clean out my petunia crop.  Honest to Morgetroid, we have enough rabbits here to make hasenpfeffer for an entire 3rd world country!!  And the reason they are so “fluffy” is that they have been dining on my flowers..I realize that some flowers are edible, but I didn’t think they needed to gorge themselves like that.  I finally quit buying Petunias to replace consumed Petunias, and decided to put Geraniums in their place..AHA!!! DON’T LIKE THE TASTE OF MY NEW FLOWERS??? GOOD!! NOW GET OUTTA MY YARD!

 

 

 

That pathetic piece of eaten of greens is what is left of my Petunias…I do love living on the edge of town (some would say I just plain live on the edge!) for the very reason that we get lots of wildlife around us..We  now have a Woodchuck who insists on tunneling under our extensive woodpile out back..and… there appears to be a mole family who are in the process of excavating our entire yard to build underground condos….

 

 

 

 

…..Not to mention that there are some strange “goings on” with my Wren house….

You will note in the picture on the left, a bird house, (Den made a clay pot into a Wren house), is lying face down under the tree behind our swing…But..What the Heck is that with it???..A potato chip bag!! And an EMPTY one at that!..NO, REALLY?…Squirrels that bring their own snacks to party on while they harass us?..Last year I had trouble around Memorial Day with a band of  Al Qaida squirrels who terrorized us by stealing our American Flags I had put in the ground, and chewing on them…Now, I seem to have some sort of rogue squirrels ( or, could it be raccoons?) finding ways to aggravate me! Wait a minute, it CAN’T be raccoons..they wash their food before eating it. Chips wouldn’t work out for them..It’s gotta be a gang of squirrels.  I need to see if they have any Guardian Angel beret wearing squirrel groups that I could hire to patrol my yard.  (I’ll bet they’d work for peanuts).

  Well, it was 2 weeks ago yesterday that I did a header into the carpet opening windows in our bedroom.  My trip to the Valley West ER that same evening was uneventful, and they assured me after reading the XRays that I didn’t break any bones .   However, 4 days later, my arm still hurt.  Two weeks before my “mishap” I had a scheduled appointment with my GP for my “Medicare Wellness Check”.  Since it was coming up on that Friday..I decided to whine about my arm.  Dr. E (a Godman, in my humble opinion) said that if it was still hurting in one week, to let him know and he would schedule an MRI of my shoulder.  Long story longer, I was in some significant pain, so he set me up with an OPEN MRI ..(that’s the only way I will do MRI to avoid the feeling of being buried alive.)  That evening my doc called me (yes, this doc actually spoke with me directly!)..The conversation went like this:“

DOC:  “Hi Donna…Hey we found something we didn’t expect on your MRI”.

ME:  “You did?”

DOC:  “Yeah….You’re pregnant…” followed by much laughter.

ME: “ SAY WHAT??? NOT FUNNY DR.E.”

DOC:  “Just kidding…You have a fracture..”

So…. I have been walking around with a fracture for nigh onto 16 days…just great.  At least I know now why my arm hurts!!

  Today I had an appointment with a bone specialist. Dennis went with me…He did more Xrays and showed Den and I where my arm was broken. I have just enough knowledge from my A & P class in college to know it was in my humerus..and it WASN’T HUMOROUS!!  However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that my only treatment will be to wear a sling 24/7 for 2-3 weeks, followed by some physical therapy..SCORE!!! The visions of surgery now vacated my head.

This little number I’m wearing above is a winner in my book! The Dr.’s assistant told me that it’s actually (you’re gonna love this) paper shorts with the crotch cut out..you are looking at the waistband…This now  makes it a strapless paper top so the dr. can see your shoulders! God, I wish I had thought of this…sooooo clever.  I bet I could find some matching socks and flannel shorts.. but they wouldn’t let me snag it for home..My latest apparel is now a trendy new  navy blue sling….

Yep…livin’ simple, that’s what I’m doin’…Just sit back, have a cocktail  (for medicinal purposes ONLY!).. and let MacGyver wait on me…IN MY DREAMS!!!